ABC News Share

Child victim of domestic violence breaks his silence, describing horrors of his abusive stepfather

Posted , updated 
Teenager Liam* witnessed his mother being attacked by his ex-stepfather, who has since been jailed for family violence assault.(ABC News: Michael Barnett)

When Liam* and his sister played hide-and-seek at a party, their rules were a little different to how most kids played the game.

"I was child protection services and I was trying to take her away, and she would hide," Liam says.

"Looking back on it now, maybe it wasn't the best game."

For years Liam and his younger sister, Millie, witnessed and experienced domestic violence at the hands of his stepfather John, who was an officer with Victoria Police.

The case, revealed by ABC Radio Melbourne on Wednesday, prompted Victoria Police to apologise to the family and has triggered an investigation by the state's Independent Broad-based Anti-corruption Commission (IBAC).

Now, every time Liam sees a family violence story in the news he pays close attention to whose voices are listened to. So far, he is yet to hear from a child who, like him, has been a victim of domestic violence.

"I feel like in family violence, kids go unvoiced," Liam says.

With the support of his mother, Michelle, Liam is speaking out because he wants his story to be heard.

Liam, who is in his early teens, lives with the mental scars of growing up in a violent household.

"He absolutely despised me," Liam says of his stepfather.

"I would just always retreat to my room and be scared to come out."

Liam was threatened with physical violence, called "the c-word" and witnessed his mum being physically and verbally abused.

His little sister, Millie, was physically assaulted and yelled at.

In her victim impact statement, Millie wrote: "When Dad hit me it hurt my feelings more than it hurt my head, because he made me really scared."

'I felt like it was my job to protect them'

Liam and his mother Michelle's lives remain "fragile", even though their abuser has been convicted.(ABC Melbourne: Michael Barnett)

Liam vividly remembers the time he saw his stepfather beat Michelle unconscious near the letterbox of their family home.

He heard Michelle and John arguing outside and went to look out the window.

"He grabbed mum by the scruff of her neck, I think, and pulled her down and her head like smashed into the letterbox," he says.

"She went into a ball to cover her head, and he's just on top of her sending punches down."

Liam carries a worried, burdened expression on his face when he recalls the assault. He feels guilty because he couldn't protect his mum.

Michelle put a safety plan in place with her children when she first started feeling threatened by John, who was becoming increasingly aggressive and intimidating.

Liam knew that if John was to become violent, he had to get his sister and get out of the house.

"I was really worried that if [the kids] tried to intervene he would kill them or he would hurt them, because they were little," Michelle says.

"I felt like it was my job to protect them from him."

'For an adult it's easier to process'

Liam believes children experience family violence differently to their parents.

"For an adult it is much easier to process it, but for kids … it is very hard to understand all of what is happening," he says.

He still can't understand how someone "could do such bad things when they were drinking" then act like nothing had happened the next day.

In February, John, a former police officer, pleaded guilty to six serious family violence offences, including one count of using a carriage service to harass — for the time he used his phone to threaten he would "go after" Liam.

He was sentenced to three months' imprisonment followed by a 12-month community corrections order, but was released on bail after appealing the sentence.

Domestic violence's vicious circle

Professor Cathy Humphreys says witnessing domestic violence can cause long-term pain for children.(Supplied: Cathy Humphreys)

One in three Australian children are exposed to intimate partner violence, according to the Domestic and Family Violence Parenting report by Australian Institute of Family Studies, La Trobe University and University of Melbourne.

Their analysis found a strong link between children and young people experiencing family violence and poor health and educational outcomes.

University of Melbourne professor of social work Cathy Humphreys says even if children are out of the room during family violence incidents they will still be harmed.

"They will hear, feel or experience what is happening because of the fear created in the household," she said.

"You can't ever say that we never hurt the children."

Statistics show women who were impacted by violence as a child were nearly three times more likely to experience partner violence as an adult.

"Children are learning particular ways of managing their feelings and behaviour, which is destructive into the future," Professor Humphreys said.

Fears remain after a life 'destroyed'

Although it has been almost two years since John moved out of the family home, Liam continues to be concerned about his family's safety.

"It's not as bad as when I knew he had access to a revolver," Liam says.

"But knowing that he is out there, and he is probably intoxicated … it just keeps replaying in my mind things that he has done.

"Could he come here and do something worse?"

Still, things are looking up. Liam and his sister are learning to play different games now.

"It's not really about child protective services anymore," he says.

When talking to her kids about surviving family violence, Michelle has compared it to being a forest in a bushfire.

While the police visits and court dates have passed, Michelle says it is impossible to go straight back to normal.

"You are destroyed, you are fragile, and seasons need to pass before those green shoots start coming back," she says.

"Life will come back in time and we will thrive, but it will take some time."

*Names were changed to protect victims' safety and privacy.

  • Email
  • Facebook Messenger
  • WhatsApp
  • Facebook
  • Twitter