Succeeding as a social media influencer is easy (is it?) with these six steps

Have you ever picked up your phone and wondered how different your life (i.e. your phone) would be if you were an Instagram influencer or YouTube celebrity?

A constant blur of notifications — hundreds of them — beep after beep reminding you that you exist, that you matter, that what you have to offer to your followers matters!

Thousands of likes and comments and shares that keep you scrolling your phone in one endless stream of self-validation.

Sounds pretty sweet. Where do I sign up? Like, really — how hard could it be? We all have phones. And internet connections. And bank accounts ready for #sponsored posts.

Surely we're more than halfway there?

Lucy Goosey is the lead character in the ABC's new vertical video series Content. She wants to be an influencer and all her dreams start to come true after she goes viral from crashing her car while being on Facebook Live (this method of going viral is not recommended).

But becoming a star online isn't an accident for most people. It's a little more involved than simply taking a snap before you down a kale smoothie #green #healthy #yumyumyum.

It's kind of hard.

Hard, but not impossible. Here we've taken some of the guesswork out of how to possibly succeed as an online influencer.

We guarantee that by following these steps, if you do not become influential, at the very least you will be online.

Step 1: Be online

It's guaranteed you will achieve success more quickly if you have between one to two social network accounts than if you have zero social media accounts. It's true.

Step 2: Find your niche

Many of Australia's top-earning Instagram influencers mix in the world of fashion, fitness, lifestyle and travel. But maybe this isn't your story.

Think deeply about the special place only you can create online.

Do you like frogs? Are you passionate about folk art? Mukbang? Folk art about mukbang?

Have you got the world's largest collection of tourist key rings that say KENNY? How can you be your most authentic self while inspiring followers to #LiveYourBestLife?

Step 3: Post content regularly

You can't expect to attract loads of followers with just one photo of you holding a red-eyed tree frog, or one video of you eating an hour's worth of lamingtons. (But to be fair, I would click.)

If you hope to make it in the online influencer space specialising in frogs, you should regularly post photos of you with the green tree frog, the spotted grass frog, and of course the turtle frog, which looks remarkably like it sounds.

If you hope to make it in the online influencer space specialising in mukbang of Australian/New Zealand sweets, you should regularly post videos of you eating a range of foods in large quantities, including lamingtons, pavlovas, and Anzac biscuits.

How often you post is, of course, up to you, but your followers should know to expect your posts as reliably as the Western spotted frog species calls from the mouths of their burrows when rain begins falling in April.

And be warned, creating content can take up a lot of time.

Recently The New York Times asked a very important question: What if being a YouTube celebrity is actually backbreaking work?

The article introduces 18-year-old YouTube celebrity Emma Chamberlain, who's built a following of 8.42 million subscribers in two years, and earns somewhere between $US120,000 and $US2 million a year.

It takes Emma 20 to 30 hours to edit each of her funny slice-of-life videos — for example, "I DID SOMETHING CRAZY (i adopted a cat....)" — and she does this in 10 to 15-hour stretches at a time.

Step 4: Have a recognisable look or brand

If you've set up your online influencer brand as an entertaining and enthusiastic expert on tourist key rings that say KENNY, but all of a sudden you start posting photos of mini car licence plates that say VANESSA, well… it's not a disaster (#NewDirection), but the effect can be quite jarring to followers who've grown to love and expect posts about KENNY key rings.

There are little aesthetic touches you can use to make your brand cohesive, such as adopting the same Instagram filter across posts, or embracing the fact that the universe is constantly expanding and life is short therefore one should post whatever photos or videos that bring one and one's nearest and dearest the most joy.

Step 5: Really think about your posts and captions

If you read enough Instagram posts, you learn that one sentence is often performing two or three functions at a time.

Master this linguistic gymnastics to maximise your communication powers to new and hypnotic influencer levels.

For example, a fashion and lifestyle influencer's post that says "So full from three days of testing wedding cakes, mega #blessed to be enjoying this açaí bowl! Three weeks 'til I'm wifey!" tells the reader about the influencer's past (cakes), present (digesting an açaí bowl), and future (wedding).

How could anyone not read that, double tap, get a craving for some açaí and consider getting hitched? I FEEL INFLUENCED.

Step 6: Start small and know that this is a long game

When you first begin sharing photos and videos online, it can be a lonely wait with only a few people interacting with you.

At this time, why not go for a walk? Walk until the low sun's light peeps out between the branches of trees, casting long shadows that meet you at your feet.

Gaze at the last light of day. Take a photo of the light and the trees and the long shadows.

Send it to someone you care about with the message "Just wanted to say hello!"

Reaffirm the belief that your phone connects you to the real people in your life.

And if you don't succeed? Return to step one, except this time ignore it — delete all social media and maybe feel better for it.